Reversing Female Anger In Relationships – Techniques For Men
Part 2 of Female Anger In Relationships
In Part 1 of the blog series Female Anger In Relationships we looked at what some men consider a double standard between men and women in romantic relationships.
Many men feel that women are perfectly comfortable blowing off steam at them while they are expected to walk on eggshells in order to not upset their sensitive wife or girlfriend.
Although many people might assume excess female anger in relationships is normal, they may not realize that one-sided anger and blame between two people is anything but benign.
The two common female traits are heightened emotionality and a heightened concern about the security of their romantic relationships. Although either of these two characteristics can cause friction in your relationship, the combination of the two can result in very real problems.
Let’s quickly review the behaviors that women with these two traits engage in and why they may not be aware of the damage they are causing.
Heightened Emotionality
High emotions carry with them a set of behaviors that is both very familiar to each of us and also very puzzling. High emotions seem to send us into a state where we are emotionally uninhibited and free. In this state we may say and do things that we later regret. Yet while we are under the influence of our strong emotions, we inexplicably believe that we are being completely rational and that there will be no negative consequences to our behavior.
Women who have naturally high emotionality may have real difficulties lowering their emotions for long enough to realize the harm or hurt they may be causing. Because high emotions often make us think we are right even when we are wrong, a woman who is continually on a roller coaster of high emotions may not be aware that she is hurting the one she loves.
Heightened Concern Over Relationship Security
The second common female trait often associated with anger and blame is a compelling wish to make sure her relationship is not being threatened. This hypervigilance can lead to fear and suspicion of your commitment. If your wife or girlfriend is an independent type, she may not be comfortable with the feeling of insecurity that might accompany her need to get continual assurance from you.
When we are embarrassed or ashamed we often open the door to defense mechanisms that can also make us say and do things we do not mean. An independent woman who is embarrassed about the need to get reassurance may use a defense mechanism of anger and blame to cover up what she feels is a personal weakness.
She may find that when she uses anger and blame to make you feel like you aren’t giving enough she can get the extra attention and assurance she needs without having to ask for it directly. Because defense mechanisms only work for us when we are not aware of them, she may not realize just how destructive her anger and blame really are.
Although the dynamic of female anger and blame may be unavoidable in many relationships, there are steps that can be taken to reverse this behavior pattern. You will now be shown a unique technique that allows you to circumvent the double standard and put an end to chronic female anger and blame in your relationship.
Let’s take a look at the first step in reversing the female anger in your relationship.
Bridging The Communication Gap
Whether a woman is unfairly blaming you because of her defenses or she is simply under the influence of high emotions, your first challenge will always be to get her to connect with you. Anger and blame create a wall that makes you a temporary enemy. In order for you to get over this hurdle you need to get her to want to listen to you. Unfortunately, when she is in a state of anger or blame, she will be in no mood to accept any kind of response other than your agreement that you have done something wrong.
Our natural urge will always be to fight or defend when we are unfairly blamed. This is a healthy reaction. It is essential for our self-esteem that we not agree to accept blame that we don’t deserve. So how do we create a workaround that gets a woman to want to listen to you without you having to admit you did anything wrong?
Your first workaround when using this technique will entail agreeing with what is behind her anger. There are always reasons that we feel angry at another person. But there is one reason that is present in every instance of anger at another. The universal reason for all anger at another person is the belief that this person did something wrong. In other words, anger and blame at others always stems from a belief that the other person did something they shouldn’t have done.
You are going to connect with your wife or girlfriend by letting her know you understand what is behind her anger. Because believing another person did something wrong is always the reason behind interpersonal anger, you will always be giving her the right answer. The phrase you use will also issue a subtle invitation for her to let you know why your behavior was wrong. Let’s take a closer look at why this setup allows you to get past her defenses.
A chronically angry woman in relationship will truly believe you did something wrong. She will believe that there is strong evidence at hand that she can use prove her right. Because she is in a high emotional state, she will expect you to acknowledge what is obvious to her, that you did something wrong. She basically wants you to say something like:
“I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
Instead you will tell her something more like:
“It sounds like you are thinking that I did something wrong.”
Because you have not defended yourself in any way and you seem to have heard her complaint about you, she will drop her guard momentarily. Few of us can resist an invitation to expound on how angry we are to the person who ticked us off.
If you are worried that asking her to elaborate on how you were wrong will be an invitation for more anger and blame, you needn’t be. You have some insider knowledge about her that will protect you. You know that despite what she believes, she actually has no justification to blame you. Instead of defending yourself, you are going to take advantage of the fact that she doesn’t know she is holding a bad hand of cards. You are going to casually call her bet.
When she realizes what she thought was a royal flush is really a losing hand, her emotional state will drop. By using this technique you will be setting her up for a fall, but it will only be a fall from high emotions. Because she really does love you, she will actually feel better when she realizes you did nothing wrong as long as you let her come to the realization herself.
The reason this technique works is because you are allowing her to come to her own conclusion about your innocence. If you stick with the formula of this technique that lets her realize for herself that you are not guilty, she will drop the anger and blame each time. Now let’s look at the psychology behind this technique that allows you change her mind about you without confrontation.
The Psychology Behind the Technique
The simple psychology behind this technique relies on the fact that people who are in a high emotion state always believe what they are thinking under the influence of their emotions is accurate. By using this technique you are going to be taking advantage of this odd neurological phenomenon that accompanies high emotional states. Let’s take a look at how this glitch in our perception actually works.
When a person is in a highly angry state, any response that invalidates their perception will feel disingenuous. When our anger is running high, we will have such conviction in our distorted perception that anyone who offers a different opinion will appear to her to us to be manipulative or having bad intentions. The only way to get a person in this kind of state to abandon their emotional reality is if they arrive at their own conclusion that they were mistaken.
Now that you understand the psychology behind this technique, it’s time for you to learn how to put it to use. In an ideal world, you could follow the general instructions that have just been explained to you. However, being unfairly blamed is not and ideal situation, and we are humans, not robots. When we are blamed unfairly we feel quite upset, and anything but calm and casual. So how can we come up with a workaround that addresses both your upset at being unfairly attacked and your wife or girlfriend’s need to hear your plea of guilt?
The workaround that has been devised for you will be a phrase that you can memorize and recite when you feel unfairly blamed. This phrase has been constructed in a way that will do the work of disarming your wife or girlfriend without you having to change your own emotional state.
Using The Nicola Method To Lower Conflict
The phrase you will be using is from the Nicola Method, a series of techniques that work to lower conflict in different types of situations. You will be memorizing this phrase and then saying it to your wife or girlfriend when you find yourself unfairly blamed. Here is the phrase:
“When you said that it seemed like you thought I did something wrong.”
(If you are going to be translating this sentence into a different language the words you will translate are: “When you said that it seemed like you thought I did something I shouldn’t have done.”)
This is the tool that will initially open the door to communication. This sentence works because it is constructed in a way that cannot be interpreted in a negative way. Because you will probably be upset when you are unfairly blamed, the sentence itself will ensure you don’t come off defensive or angry. It may be a little difficult to memorize, but it’s awkwardness is necessary to ensure she doesn’t interpret it as a smart or sarcastic response from you.
Your wife or girlfriend may not hear exactly what you say the first time you use this phrase. She may be so defensive that she blows it off. If she ignores your comment after you say it or if she makes a smart comment in response, simply say it again. After she responds, you can continue in your own words to try to get her to tell you why what you did was wrong.
It might go like this:
You: “When you said that it seemed like you thought I did something wrong.”
Her: “Don’t talk back to me!”
You: “I was just saying that it seemed like you thought I did something wrong.”
Her: “Well, yes. You certainly did.”
You: “I don’t like doing things wrong. Can you let me know what I did and why it was wrong.”
At this point she may try to tell you what was wrong about your behavior. Then she will probably start to speak and then pause and think for a moment. During this pause she will realize what you did wasn’t wrong, she was just irritated or in a bad mood.
Once she realizes it she will probably admit that. But don’t expect her to apologize. At this point your best bet is to casually drop the subject. You can repeat this process every time you feel you are being unfairly blamed. This sentence will remove the fuel that drives her anger. Without the fuel she will drop into an emotionally neutral state.
Let’s now step inside of the angry woman’s mind to follow her thought process so you can see what is happening in an angry woman’s mind as you use this technique. We will use the same scenario:
You: “When you said that it seemed like you thought I did something wrong.”
Her: (What is he talking about. Just flapping his mouth as usual. He just makes me so angry.) “Don’t talk back to me when I am talking to you!”
You: “I was just saying that it seemed like you thought I did something wrong.”
Her: (Well, what do you know. He finally listened to me. It’s about time. I am still very angry, but at least he is willing to accept that he’s behaved terribly. I have his full attention, and he has stopped being defensive, and now I am finally going to lay it out and show him exactly what he has done wrong. I have been waiting for this for a long time… All right. Now I am going tell him… Okay. Why was what he did wrong? I know there has to be a reason… Oh, maybe not… Okay. Well, I guess maybe he didn’t do anything wrong.)
Most of the time at this point she will simply say, “Well, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just irritated.” Or she may say, “You didn’t do anything wrong. I guess I was still mad at you from the other day.”
This technique not only lowers her anger but it resolves the issue without conflict. The workaround that this technique provides addresses each of the challenges of defensive or emotional behavior without confrontation. You simply memorize one sentence and let it do the work for you. You will find that you can easily stop the anger and blame by using this technique.
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If you would like to learn the Nicola Method so you can put an end to the high conflict situations you may be experiencing, click on this link to the welcome page of this website where you will find the resources you need.
If you want to try out some of the basic techniques of this method for free to see if this method is right for your situation, you can learn them from an intro guide flip-book here or a PDF version of the intro guide here.
Thanks for a new plan
Hey I’ve actually been implementing these techniques for a while now before reading this article and it made the whole thing much worse. Is there anything else? I’m honestly just thinking about leaving the relationship but I want to give it my all and move forward if 1st all possible.
Jamal, I have quite a few different kinds of techniques that can be used for conflict, emotional abuse and rehabilitation of behaviors associated with BPD. You might want to take a look at a few of my other blog posts. You are also welcome to email me with some specifics and I’d be happy to give you some language that might make a difference.
Generally I would say that it’s best to choose a partner who is at least as healthy as you are, in other words someone who has the relationship skills that match yours. Chronic anger in a relationship is psychologically destructive to those who are emotionally open to their partners. So in most cases it’s best to find someone who is capable of supporting you and who has solid control of their emotions.
So if it doesnt stop the anger. If saying that just starts a rant. Yikes.
Greg, if these phrases start a rant, it is important to refocus her on why she is angry. If her rant is her answer to what you did wrong, then you need to move to step two which is why does she think what you did was wrong. When we are forced to use the part of our brain that gives us answers to questions of morality, we can no longer use the emotional primitive part of our brain. We automatically move to the unemotional intellectual processing center.
Asking her to explain WHY your actions are bad will force her to calm down. You can treat these conversations like an interview where you tell her you want to completely understand her point of view. If you are innocent of wrongdoing, she will find herself without an appropriate reason why your behavior is bad.
If she wants to push a false narrative that clearly no one but her would go ever along with, you will more clearly understand that she is setting an impossible bar for you or anyone else to live up to. This can clear up the confusion and allow you to understand that you would never be able to live up to her expectations and hopefully move you towards a more healthy relationship partner.
This is all very good in principle but if I try and go down this route with my wife, very quickly she becomes hyper defensive, then accusing me of trying to manipulate her with clever language.
Dirk, there are many ways to reverse inappropriate anger within a relationship. I would suggest that you take a look at my four part series on emotional abuse and some of the other blog posts that relate to defensiveness to really get a strong foundation in the concepts that this language was developed from.
But you don’t need to use my method at all. There are lots of approaches you can use once you understand emotional dysregulation and the defensive use of anger to relieve uncomfortable feelings.
Instead of using my language you can read my workbook available on line that tells you how to tell her what she’s really upset about. Supplying the person with the intellectual match to their feelings is another way to regulate their emotions.
You can also choose to force her to take responsibility for her anger by scheduling long drawn-out sit down discussions every time she criticizes you where instead of having her say how bad you are, you ask her to list out exactly how she feels a husband should be acting. This forces her to use constructive criticism which doesn’t allow her to unload her negative feelings on you. You can literally exhaust her by scheduling discussion after discussion. She won’t be able to blame you for wanting to address her grievances.
One of two things will happen. Either she’ll feel ridiculous because when her feelings are spelled out, her irrationality will be obvious and she will not want to be exposed this way and she’ll stop the criticism. Or she will shamelessly list out a ridiculous set of standards that it’s clear that no one could or should ever follow, and you will be able to truly see how far from reality her expectations are. This will give you the perspective to make some clear-headed decisions on what to do about your situation.
You can also choose to have a serious discussion when she’s not angry about how painful her criticisms are for you. You can ask her to save them all for a scheduled appointment once a week where you can be emotionally prepared. Get her to agree and then remind her each time she tries to criticize you. This will stop her from relieving herself of her negative feelings in the moment.
If she does unload during the scheduled time, make sure you turn it into an interview of how she thinks a spouse should behave. Use a notepad to write it all down. If you take it way more seriously than it should be taken she will end up looking very foolish.
Or you can choose to talk with her about how her anger makes you feel. Read about the damaging effects of criticism and explain to her why her criticism is damaging to you. Tell her her criticism makes you feel like a bad person. Tell her it tears down your self esteem. Get her to agree to use constructive criticism instead.
Tell her exactly what constructive criticism is, that it consists of her telling you how she expected you to behave and why she thinks that behavior is necessary, not about what you did wrong and why she thinks that behavior is bad. You can remind her every time she criticizes that she said she would use constructive criticism. Directly ask her to tell you what her expectation was and why that’s important to her.
I could go on and on, based on understanding the principles of anger and emotional dysregulation. These are difficult concepts to learn, but understanding them is crucial when dealing with a spouse’s insecurity. It’s important to remember that she has no idea why she’s so angry. In reality it’s nothing more a defense that must be foiled. Unloading anger onto another person is an addictive behavior. You will need to find some way to keep her from getting relief this way. Once her defensive mind understands that it can’t use you to get relief she will stop trying.
Hi Joanna, I stumbled across your page and have been amazed at your knowledge and understanding. I really appreciate the direct and efficient way you communicate this knowledge.
I downloaded the workbook(thanks for that!) and am starting to use the techniques when my wife is highly emotional. She almost always has some sort of logic to tell me that I am actually doing something wrong. In most cases she assigns some sort of unhealthy motivation to my behavior. Instead of calling the behavior wrong, she’ll say something like: ” that may sound nice( or seem nice) but I think you are just doing it because you want to play the martyr ( or out of fear or to make me feel guilty or some other unhealthy reason)” So, what is the best way to respond to these accusation of “wrong” intentions while staying within the design of your technique? The other response I have gotten is that she’ll say : ” I don’t know why you are always thinking that you are doing something wrong, there must be something unhealthy going on inside you to say that. Thanks!
You have done a great job with this phrase. Although it may not look like it, the phrase has done its job perfectly. You have gotten her to reveal what is really behind her outer complaint. And what she says in response to the phrase is invaluable information.
Her response tells you what her real problem is. And her real problem is insecurity. Her insecurity makes her believe that even after all these years of your good behavior that you are going to take advantage of her. Even when you are clearly good, she sees a malevolent motive.
The information from her response to the phrase shows how she really feels about you. I know it may seem utterly irrational that anyone would think your good will to take on household duties is actually manipulative. But in order to stop this behavior pattern of hers you need to understand her paranoid perspective. When people are insecure they commonly become quite paranoid that those they put their trust in are taking advantage of them.
The least productive thing you could do is tell her she is irrational or wrong to feel the way she does. She’ll think you are putting her down. The most productive thing is to validate her fear. Note that you will be validating her fear of what you will do not validating what you did.
To end this behavior pattern you will need to recognize that spouses do take advantage of each other frequently and are often highly manipulative. If you are not the type of person who would ever do this, you need to realize that you are somewhat unusual in your ability to curb your selfish interests. Many people can’t help giving in to selfish impulses, and this is what your wife constantly thinks you are either about to do or have done.
When she responds that her real issue is the belief you were not acting in her best interest, you will need to validate her fears. You can tell her that you totally understand why she feels that way. One way to do this after her response to the phrase is to say that you realize how what you said must have come across. You can say you are really sorry about how it sounded and you understand why it seemed like you were trying to get out of the work or making her feel guilty or whatever she says she thinks you are doing.
Don’t say that you actually did what she says, but say that you know how common it is for husbands to blow off whatever needs to be done or to act like a martyr to try to get out of work or whatever you think her suspicions about you are. After you validate her feelings of suspicion by saying that husbands do that all the time to their wives and it makes sense that she would think that’s what was happening you can tell her that that’s the last thing you meant by what you said. Apologize as much as you want for it coming across that way. She will like the apology, and you are only admitting that you wish it hadn’t come out in a way that could be interpreted as suspicious. You are not apologizing for anything bad you did. The truth is she will misinterpret things no matter how you say them.
The best way to stop her from misinterpreting you is, as best you can, before you say anything that she could misinterpret, to preface what you say with something like, “I don’t want this to come across like I’m a martyr, or trying to get out of doing this.” Tailor your statements to what you imagine she will be suspicious of. You can get more examples in my workbook.
If you find you need to use my phrase during times that you don’t recognize in advance how what you say will come across and she reacts negatively to the phrase itself, simply tell her that it’s extremely important that you don’t do things wrong. She can’t knock that as a personal goal. It just makes you a better person.
It’s very exhausting in the beginning of this process. You will have to continually say I don’t want this to sound like I am being controlling, manipulative, a martyr, critical of you, et cetera. But if you stick to this type of script, she will eventually lose her fear of you betraying her. It’s a long road, I’m sorry to say. But you have done a great job getting to what her real problem is.
The one thing that I do not find in your information at all – is getting the other person to admit they have a problem – getting them to look at their own behavior – recognize their own instability and issues – because sorry – without that you are just their pasty now matter how great your language and etc.
Bob, the truth is that this personality type, which is the most common cluster of traits for women, leaves them with very little aptitude for apologizing for bad behavior or recognizing their insecurity. Insecurity leads to lack of trust in others. When people are insecure they feel one down, and they suffer from being easily humiliated. Add on top of that their high emotional setting which makes them believe that their feelings are reality, and you get someone very defensive.
They already have a very hard time recognizing that they are insecure in their relationships. After all, no one has ever told them that most women suffer from insecurity in their relationships. Having never been educated that they will lose their sense of self-confidence as soon as the romantic element is in place, they assume incorrectly that their partners are the problem. It takes a lot of personal development for women with this cluster of traits to be able to admit to their vulnerabilities in front of the person who is making them feel vulnerable.
My methods can be thought of as a workaround for those who are literally unable to apologize. It’s not the best solution. The best solution is for women to recognize that they have natural insecurity in romantic situations that they will need to learn to confront. Just as men have been learning how to get in touch with their emotions, women must learn to do the opposite. They must learn how to control theirs. And just as men have learned how to be more connected and inclusive in their relationships, women, If they have this common cluster of female personality traits, must learn how to be more independent.
This may take a few decades, just as we it has taken for men who have been pressured to tone down their natural aggression. But in the meantime I offer these techniques to get around these sad truths. There is, however, a solution to this problem. There are three distinctive personality traits that create this common female problem. If you can identify these traits you can steer clear of this type of woman.
The traits are, one, a high setting of emotionality. You can literally ask a woman if on an average day her emotions are more like a roller coaster or more like a flat line. The more ups and downs the higher the emotional setting. The second personality trait is fear of negative judgment from others. Women who are very concerned about how they appear, what others might think, fear of not being in fashion or who compare themselves with others excessively have this trait. The third trait is idealization of romantic love. These are women who expect symbolic romantic gestures early in the relationship and who seem to feel that every man she connects well with must be the one.
Unfortunately all three of these traits create a very alluring woman, the kind that most men find difficult to resist. Making a decision to rule out this personality type in order to avoid the emotional pitfalls that may go with it is a little like choosing to give up junk food in order to eat a nutritious diet.
Dear Joanna,
I have been in an online relationship with a young woman for three months. Although she was not a big communicator, things were going fine until New Year’s Eve, when I saw that she posted a photo of a male friend of hers on her Instagram account. I was hurt by this and consequently, said things to her I shouldn’t have. Later, I realized that I shouldn’t have judged her, but now the damage is done and she is not talking to me, at least not directly. She has vented her anger on a blog. I think her reaction has been unfair, because she was the one who caused the trouble in the first place, and she admitted to it. What I want to know is how I can get on speaking terms with her and win back her trust? Can the relationship be saved. Thanks.
I’m sorry to say that my methods only work when the person in question is willing to communicate with you. Best of luck in resolving this situation.
I absolutely love this website. I’m trying to “practice” outside of my wife who has BPD traits in easing her devaluation efforts. I am getting better at diffusing flare ups but the issue I have is that the conversation often carries on after the first 2 or 3 exchanges and then I’m lost. I am told that I sound like a robot often repeating what I may have said earlier trying to validate her feelings about things. I fear going outside of “safe” sentences I might set her off again. I mean, these are 20 mins – 60 mins conversations.
I have noticed the hottest issues often come when she views something I do as threatening to the relationship, often it is something I wouldn’t have given a single thought. These might be things such as (her viewing me) flirting with a girl at church, having a beer with a female coworker of 14 years and her husband, and similar activities. I try to appreciate her feelings and not marginalize her insecurities. This is why your website rings well at home. She will be upset for days and calling for a divorce if I try to defend myself. Now I find with trying to validate her feelings, I get better mileage but she is often still super hot with anger . . . and with the conversation still going, I don’t have anymore words in my arsenal that I feel safe in using to try to bring her emotions back down. I’m getting better at spotting her triggers but I’m far from perfect. Anyways, advice for longer conversations would be greatly appreciated! What you’ve said here really rings true!
P.S. As for your trust column, I was able to get my wife to agree to get more involved with the church with me. I don’t know if this will work but she seemed receptive about the idea of making God a central foundation of our relationship. We now pray once a day together. . . just a short prayer and stating something we’re grateful for or someone or something we want to pray for. I hope it continues when she gets hot again. She told me she would do this with me everyday, even on days when she gets emotionally angry with me. Fingers crossed this will work because I need a healthy relationship with my wife.
For an in depth understanding of how to use the Nicola Method to regulate a partner’s emotions, you can refer to my free workbook on my website. In the later sections of the book you will find clear instructions on how to proceed past the initial language. It might go something like this:
When you said that it seemed like you thought I did something wrong.
You sure did.
What did I do wrong?
You weren’t caring about my feelings.
It’s certainly not okay for someone to not care about another’s feelings. What did I do to make you feel like that?
You didn’t buy the kind of pie that I like. You got the wrong kind.
I can see exactly why you would think I didn’t care about you. It makes total sense that me not thinking about you when buying the groceries would make you feel like I wasn’t including your needs in planning our family’s meals. I’m so sorry that I did that. The last thing I wanted to do was make you feel uncared about
.
Then you can tell her what really happened, like you were really tired that day and it slipped your mind. You might say, “I know there’s no excuse for not thinking about you, but I promise that I do care very much about you and it’s extremely important that I put your needs as high as mine when it comes to our family, even if my actions at the store didn’t show that at all.”
In my workbook you will see the important parts of the language in this example that work well repeated in many examples. I would suggest you take a look at the workbook to get more familiar with how to apply this formula to any situation that comes up.
Fidelity is a very difficult component of the behavior patterns associated with traits of BPD. The method I teach is somewhat controversial, and I would need to present it in a full post as opposed to in a comment reply. But generally speaking, the things that we all forget when we get exasperated with a spouse that is unreasonably suspicious is that many, many people cheat on their partners. In fact, every single one of us is susceptible to cheating even if we believe that we are completely in control of that part of our lives. Those who write about this unfortunate human weakness will say that the only way to guarantee to yourself and your partner that you will not cheat is to have a plan in place. That means you plan in your head what you would do if the situation of temptation ever arose to get out of the situation.
The way we can apply this understanding to over-suspicious spouses is to use it as the kind of language that will take the blame and shame and guilt for the baseless accusation off of your partner. Telling a partner that they are correct and rational to fear infidelity allows them to regulate their emotions. Explaining that it’s completely normal and rational to have those fears can alleviate them.
Without going into too much detail, the remaining techniques are to let your partner know what your practice is to keep yourself away from any temptation. Most partners will avoid temptation, but they don’t always tell their partner how they do this. It can be very assuring to tell a partner that if you ever find yourself with someone who may be sending signals that you immediately bring their presence in your life up in the conversation.
A suspicious partner can also be told that if there is someone in their lives who is attractive how you act to physically avoid too much contact with the person. I also advise a controversial method with extreme cases where I have the partner allow complete transparency with all of their devices. This is not a healthy practice ongoing, but handing over a phone when there is fear in the partner and encouraging them to calm their fears for themselves can regulate their emotion, at least for the time being.
Thanks Joanna
looking for such resources is difficult so appreciate you making it available. There so much attention on men’s anger but little that acknowledges how women experience anger in relationships and how men can be supportive for their partners.